Highlights: an old man visits a brothel, a mother wants to sleep with her son, and a disappearing hitchhiker/pilgrim. Note: Muslims are not actually into sacrificing to Satan, they're pretty clear on that point.
Good men, we shall have such a day as Saint Andrew's Day, and fast until the even, the which day we shall come to God and Holy Church to see God and do worship to this holy saint, specially for three virtues that he had. One, for he had great holiness and was holy in living, the second for great miracles doing, and the third for great passion suffering.
He was a man of holy living. For when he heard that Saint John Baptist preached in the desert, he left all his worldly occupation and went to him and was his disciple. Then fell it upon a day that Christ came walking. And when Saint John saw him walking, he said to his disciples, "Lo, that is God's lamb that shall do away the sin of the world." And when Saint Andrew heard that, anon he left Saint John and followed Christ. And when he heard Christ peaching, he liked it so well that he brought Saint Peter, his brother, to Christ to hear his preaching And then they both conceived such a love to Christ that, on a day soon after, as they were in the Sea of Galilea fishing, Christ came by them and called them. Then they both anon left their ship and their nets and all that they had and followed forth after Christ forever until he went into heaven.
And when he was gone into heaven, Andrew preached the word of God to the people, among the which was one called Nycol that had lived sixty winters and more in lechery. But by the grace of God he sought to mend himself and had written a gospel and had it with him, hoping that by virtue of God's word should put away temptation. And so, by virtue of God's word, he absented himself of his sin a while. But yet, by enticing of the fiend, on a day he forgot himself and went to the brothel, as was his wont. And when he came hither, the women cried out to him and said, "Wretched old man, go home! for I see on thee many marvels!"
Then this Nycol bethought him that he had the gospel of God upon him, and anon he went to Saint Andrew and told him all that had happened and prayed him to pray to God for him that his soul was not lost. Then Saint Andrew said that he would never eat nor drink until he knew whether he should be saved or damned. Then he fasted five days, praying alone for him. Then at the fifth days end, there came a voice to him and said: "Andrew, right as thou has fasted and prayed, so make Nycol to do the same, and then he shall be safe." Then he called Nycol to him and bade him fast forty days bread and water and pray [bysyly] to God, and so he did. And when the forty days were done, soon after this Nycol died. Then there came a voice to Andrew and said: "By thy prayer I have won Nycol, that was lost."
Also a young man came to Saint Andrew and privately said to him: "Sire, my mother hath sought me long to lie by her. And because I would not do her will, she hath accused me to the justice. Wherefore I would that I were dead, and yet I would rather take the death than so foully slander my mother. Wherefore, sire, for the love of God, pray for me that I may take my death meekly." Then said Saint Andrew: "Son, go forth to they doom and I will go with thee." Then anon came men and took him to the justice. And when his mother accused him [stufly], he held his tongue and said nothing. Then answered Saint Andrew and said to the mother: "Thou wicked woman, that for lust of thy lechery art about to do thy son to death. Vengeance will fall upon thee!" Then said she to the justice, "Sire, [sethon] my son might not do this horrible deed that he would have done, he hath gone to this man for succor." Then the justice commanded to put the son in a feet and cast him into a water to drown, and Andrew into prison until he were decided as to by what death he should slay him. Then anon came a hideous thunder that made all afeared that were there, and were fain to fetch Andrew out of prison. And therewith came a bolt of light and incinerated the mother in the sight of all men. And thus he saved this man from death and turned the justice and all the people to the faith of Christ. Hereby the men understood that he was a man of holy living.
He was also great in working miracles. For on a day, as he walked upon the seaside, he saw a drowned man cast out of the water. Then he prayed to God for to raise him to life. Then anon his body arose to live. And when he was raised to life, Saint Andrew asked him how he was drowned. Then he answered and said thus: "We were forty young men together in a company, and heard of a holy man that was in this country and would have gone to him to have heard of his preaching. But when we were in the sea, a tempest came on us and drowned us all together. But would God that we had all been cast up together that we might have all been raised together." Then, at the prayer of Saint Andrew, all the bodies were cast to land at diverse places. Then Saint Andrew made for to gather them together and kneeled down, praying long for them until they were raised all, every one together. Then Saint Andrew preached to them the faith of Christ and they all followed him together. And when they were steadfast in the faith, he sent them home to their country again with much joy and mirth. Many other miracles he did that are too long to tell, but hereby you may know that he was mighty in working of miracles, that thus raised forty drowned bodies together.
Also he suffered great passion for Christ's love. For when he was in the city of Patras, he turned to the faith the wife of the justice that was called Eggeas. He made men to do Mohametry (Islam), that is, to offer to fiends. But because Saint Andrew reproved him thereof, anon he made to take him and would have had him to have done the same. But he steadfastly refused him and proved by many reasons that he and all men should worship God almighty and not the fiend of hell. Then Egeas grew insane with wrath and made men to take Andrew and strip him naked and beat him with scourges, that all his body ran with blood. And after, he commanded them to bind him feet and hand and put him on a cross, so he should suffer long until he died. But when Saint Andrew came to the place where the cross was, he kneeled down and said: "Hail be thou cross, that art made holy by the precious body of Christ! On thee hanged my master Jesus Christ. I worship thee with all my heart, I desire to [cluppe] be. Wherefore now take me to thee and send me to my master that died on thee." He stood up and took off his clothes and gave them to his tormentors, and bade them do as they were charged to do by the justice. Then they bound him to the cross hand and foot, so hard and straight that the blood gushed out at such a cut. Thus he hanged on the cross two days, always preaching to the people, so that there came to his preaching many thousands of folk.
And for [rewth] that they had of him, they bade Egeas take him down off the cross or else they would slay him. Then for fear of the people he came to take him down. THen Saint Andrew refused and said, "Egeas, know this: that thou shalt have no might to take me down, for here I will die on this cross." Then there came a great light, so that afterwards no man could see for half an hour, and in that light he gave up the ghost. Thus when Egeas saw that he was dead, he went home. Then after a while he went insane, and soon after, in front of everyone, he starved in the road. And when Maximilla his wife heard thereof, anon she made for to take Saint Andrew's body and bury it in a tomb, out of the which tomb manna and oil well out together, so that men of that country may know when they shall have famine and when great [cheppe]. For when sustenance is hard to come by, it welleth swiftly, and when it shall be great [chep], it welleth plenty enough.
After it fell that there was a bishop that loved Saint Andrew well, so that all things that he did he commended them to God and to Saint Andrew. Then so that the devil might put him out of his purpose, the devil came to his bishop in the likeness of a fair woman, praying him that she might speak with him in private confession, and this he granted. Then she began thus: "Sire," she said, "I am a king's daughter and have been [chyrlych noryschet]. But because I see that the will of the world is but a flower, I vowed chastity. And when my father would have married me to a great prince, I would not break my vow, so I stole away in the night in poor clothes. and when I heard of your great holiness, I came to have help, counsel, and succor of you. Wherefore, sir, I pray that you will ordain that I should be helped, that the fiend have no power to let me off my purpose." Then the bishop comforted her and bade her that she should have trust in God, for he that had set to high a purpose in pure heart would have grace. "But this day thou shall eat with me, and after meat we shall by good advice ordain see how thou shall be helped." "Nay, sire," said she, "not so, lest men would have suspicion of evil." "There shall be no condemnation," said the bishop, "for we shall be safely in company, so that there shall be no suspicion of anything amiss."
Then she gently thanked him, and was set in a chair before the bishop at meat. But ever when the bishop looked upon her, he thought her so fair that he was so tempted by her that he almost forgot himself. Then anon came there a pilgrim to the gate and beat on gate so hard that all that were in the hall were astonished. Then said the bishop, "Dame, shall this man come in or no?" "Sire," said she, "First let him answer to a question and then let him come in." "Dame," said the bishop, "ask the question, for we are [onavysed] as now." "Then," said she, "Let him be asked what is the greatest miracle that ever God made in a foot of earth?" Then when the pilgrim was asked thus, he answered and said: "A man's face, that is earth, and but a man's own foot. For though all the men and women that ever were bore stood together, I should know one by another by some degree." When he had made this answer, he was greatly commended for his wise answer.
Then said she, "Because I see he is wise, bid him make another answer. Ask him whether the earth is higher than heaven." Then when this pilgrim was asked this, he said: "Wherever Christ is bodily. For Christ's body is of our kind, and our kind is on earth. Wherefore, wherever Christ's body is, there the earth is higher than heaven, for Christ is higher than heaven." When he had made this answer, he was not only allowed, but bidden to come in.
Then she said, "Let him answer a third question and then let him come in. Ask him how far it is from heaven to hell." Then when this question was put to him, he answered and said to the messenger, "Go again," he said, "to her that sits before the bishop in the chair and bid her answer the question, for she can do better than I. For she is a fiend and hath been there, whereas I never have. She, however, fell down with Lucifer." Then when the messenger heard this, he felt heavy in heart, but yet he made answer that all there might hear. Then anon this fiend vanished away with a horrible stench.
Then this bishop thought better of his temptation and was sorry in his heart, and anon, sent after the pilgrim. But by the time the messenger came to the gate, the pilgrim was gone. Then the bishop made all men pray to God to send knowledge as to who this pilgrim was that so kindly had helped him in his need. Then there came a voice to him and said it was Saint Andrew that came for to succor him for the good love and service that he did to him, and bade him beware in time coming and preach what had happened to the people to help their souls.
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